Entry 10

Today I am on a downer. Could be feeling better but the thoughts in my head decide my mood more than often. Everything just seems to pile on top and that’s when I feel like shit, because my life isn’t as good as it could be, and this place has turned into something I don’t wanna go to everyday, and considering I’ve only been here less than a year that isn’t a good thing, but do you know who I blame this on? Lee. I’m struggling there again, things seem okay, just okay nothing happens anymore, everything there is a hidden thought behind it or a argument in the works, when everything was going well and then going bad, my head is stuck in the middle and shouting at me how did you let your guard down so much? You know what happens when you get that low! This is kind of ironic because I am listening to All Time Low by The Wanted and the words are ‘how do you get up from an all time low?’ yeah not helping.

I need some motivation and at the moment I have nothing! I’ve have ten tonnes of work to do. Exams coming up and I’m just no good at this school stuff, I have no money so I cant buy stuff, (that normally cheers me up a little bit) just life just drifting on and on without a purpose! I suppose I’m not failing, I’m just behind not as much as other people and that’s a good thought too. But I don’t wanna do this sixth form anymore, its just school but in different clothes, and a common room. Yeah that’s pretty much as it is, I hate the early mornings and I probably would be better off just getting my English and maths and leaving. But really I need my health work I can see myself doing something health related I hope, it would be a good and useful job. With lots of time off.

Well I’m going now as I have ran out of ideas that I even bore myself with.

Zoe xx

Entry 9

Well its been a while since I last posted something, but here I am, its Thursday and I have 4 days of holiday left, and boy is it gonna hit me hard, its been so good having this time off and I am really gonna miss it! Not much has happened in these two weeks, hardly anything and now as school is just round the corner, I am in a rush to do some kind of work and there I was thinking hmm I start on Tuesday which means I don’t have to do so much of the work that is due in on Tuesday but then I remember I go back n Tuesday so yepp that work has to be done weather its wrong or right. I have a lot of work to do right now and I’ slowly falling behind which isn’t a good thing, also the fact that I am at my dads and don’t have half the work with me that I need is just making it that little bit worse.

Health is the longest, 3 different teachers doing three different parts of the course pilling it all up and demanding it when we have a holiday, when knowing they probably anit done anything like us. Business, I haven’t even looked at! Haven’t even spared it a thought. Well if I had a £1000 for every piece of work I had to do or improve, I would be rich and not need the grades!

On a less stressed note, I have finally finished my vampire diaries books, and it was good! The ending could have given you some more clues, but oh well. I will now have to start the true blood books, but I only have the first one but I know someone with them all so may have to borrow them!

There have been no more developments in the lee department everything seems to be okay but I wonder how things will be at school, she goes near him anymore and I will be angry

Well anyway should be getting on with my work! Lots to do!

Zoe xx 

Entry 8

I am finally on my last week at school and then we are off for two weeks for the Easter holidays! I truly can’t wait to finally break up and have a well earned break. It feels like ages since I have had an actual break! I really need it.

Well yesterday was Lacey’s christening and it went pretty well most people turned up but the people who I would of liked to turn up didn’t, but I mingled and talked, everything seemed to go to plan. But mum ended up drunk and when out for the night, this is typical mum and I’ll be surprised if poppy or Lacey went to school today. But everything was okay, there were no arguments which surprised me even more and even Nan and Granddad made an effort. This is a picture of me, Lacey, Poppy and Luke, my face isn’t brilliant but it’s a good picture.  

Well that’s all I have to say really, I’ll write again on Wednesday because that when I next have a free lesson.

Zoe xx